Search This Blog

Friday, April 06, 2018

CONTROL- I like to have a lot! -Janet J.

Isn’t it funny how we grasp for, pant after, grovel to control anything in life - even as elusive as it is? After joining Codependant Anonymous meetings, I have come to realize any control I think I have is really an illusion. Try it-think of something you think you control. Has it ever NOT gone the way you would like it to? Even my bodily functions like using the bathroom don’t listen to my pleas of waiting eight hours while I travel!
This need to control can come from many sources - mine came from emotional pain. I just wanted to do all I can to guarantee I wouldn’t have to suffer the way I have suffered in the past. It seems like the more I tried to avoid that kind of pain, the more came to me. Like Job once said “The thing I feared the most has come upon me”.
I am in a season of the Lord untangling the weeds of my beliefs. Especially beliefs about myself in my core. I have started tracing negative thoughts to their source by asking ‘why’ a lot and find most are rooted in fear of pain and a miserable attempt to control the future.
You know when you let go of trying to put the world in your basket and just let the day unfold as you walk with Jesus, the peace that passes understanding really washes over you!
Come on this journey with me to freedom and give up your desire to control. I dare you! xoxo
~Nikki
@jesusfreakmillionaire